TikTokTok

 hi to my many fans!  It's been a while: so quick update on life. I got a job! (In advertising, then in advertising sales, and also in media planning for retirement communities) and then I got the dream job!  I am working at TikTok in learning and enablement. I get to get yelled at by colleagues who don't like feedback on training programs and then cry and leave our meeting!  I get to onboard people who are new hires!  I get to train sales people! I get to have 1:1 coaching calls where people cry and tell me the job is too much and then I go to my next meeting where everyone pretends like it's amazing!  

But mostly, I get to use improv skills to create a friendly, safe and honest environment where people can come to me and hopefully, learn and improve.

That is a dream job.

And I'm mostly grateful, pissed that I'm underpaid (why post jobs that are like mine, but the salary range is so much higher and not equal our pay?) but work with wonderful people and love love love every thing that I do.

That's a first: and I hope there's more of that to come.

Twisting and half nelsons and wrestling down the man

I FINALLY GOT MY UNEMPLOYMENT!!!!  it was very tedious, and involved me calling multiple times a day, writing emails into the void of the inbox of some part of the state of California AND engaging with my (former?) state senator.  I couldn't think of anything else, couldn't do my side hustle, couldn't engage in my helpful, useful leadership course ("What will you do to help a family effected by a death from Covid 19 for your capstone project??) and couldn't apply for a job.  Well, could, but didn't want to.

I was active on the reddit thread (sub-Reddit?) about managing your unemployment seeking angst, tricks of the trade and kept thinking Venus William's husband was going to yell at me for not knowing all the reddit rudolph game rules...

So, every morning, sitting in the loveliest most beautiful sunlit home here in Austin Texas I'd wake up, and wrestle with California, trying to make it submit to my needs.

And then, last wednesday, a few things happened all together:

1) My claim changed from "Pending" to "Disqualified"

2) The phone number didn't even put me through the 3 minute prompt session to get to the end and be told it's too busy...it just didn't work

3) I kept feeling like my brain was being zapped whenever I walked somewhere.  I am pro-happy pill drug, so this was making me concerned about dosage, etc.  '

4) The bank where the unemployment money goes showed all the missing deposits ($5K!) but also showed withdrawls, and no clickable way to track where it had gone.  Nothing in my main bank account, and I thought...I AM FUCKED.

I was zigging from task to task, getting zapped and in a terrible mood.  I called it "The Dark Night of my Soul" which made my sister Kitty laugh out loud.

ANYWAY, turns out the money landed into my Chase account (Don't rob me!) and all is now resolved.

And all weekend, all I could do was watch "Below Deck, Med", try to start and fail at bonfires and look at my Chase account online.  Like, petting the screen at how pretty it was to have that $ and daydreaming about which high interest credit card I'd put that money towards.  I did job search and such, but sort of half ass.  I was the most at peace I've been in the 8 weeks since I was laid off.  Life seems livable as I suck on the teat of the government cash cow.

And guess what, come Monday, I got a random call for a contract that's exactly what I want:

Temp to hire

Tech company with a good help old people "mission"

Create and host webinars

Run Events

Um, yes please???

And, even if that one doesn't work...I can finally start (or have chosen to start) to look for work.

PIN PIN PIN!

I'm a hero (again!)

 I was out on a walk, after a shitty day of calling unemployment all day and really feeling blue.  As I walked, I found an engagement ring on the ground--looked around--and there's a diamond store (or rather, an ethically something something store). I rang the bell and noone answered.  (the placard read  "one couple at a time" rub it in much?  i'm single and looking for love).  Anyway, their number to text was on the window, so even though I'm BROKE and haven't yet received $ from my unemployment from being LAID OFF and could use the cash from turning in the ring at a pawn shop, I texted.  And am turning in the ring.

UGHHHHH!

I'M IN TEXAS!

I'm in Ft Worth, living it up with my bestie friendie and her hubbie and two boys.  I'm in the guest room, and currently on a career workshop Google Video call.  I was on the unemployment phone line with California everyday, and kept getting hung up on until YESTERDAY when I realized I needed to keep calling...so after being on hold for a collective 4 hours:  I got through!  Turns out, I'm a qualified hardship case and it should be resolved in 3 days (WHAT?  I've been unemployed for 2 months and have received only one unemployment check).  So, I achieved my immediate goal.

AND NOW it's time to keep looking for job.  Or write. Or develop skills.  Or work on my resume.  Or do yoga.  Or start a podcast. Or get headshots. 

But it's sunny and warm and I'm injected into the life of a family and somewhere new and I'm happy.

PHEW

I needed that!  A little trip up to Michigan to see my BFF and her kids, inspired me to dye my hair.  Kristin does NOT like it when your hair is grey!  So chop chop I dyed my roots and cut my bangs.

We went to Ulta and I bought some good foundation (they call it CC cream these days) and I actually dressed up cute (well, for one day).  We drank wine, ate cheese and tried to watch Firefly Lane (CHEESY as FUCK).

Coming back this week, I kicked it up and applied for some jobs, got to work on earning my real estate license with classes and maybe I'll even go to the gym.  All in the midst of a snowstorm.  Impressive, no?

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TEXAS????

I was so happy to be back home.  I perfectly articulated how I feel about leaving LA "I know it's the right decision, but I'm not happy about leaving LA.  I don't think I'm done yet."

I took the weekend to unpack and settle in, join the local gym, get my change of address, have some zoom calls, and watch the Super Bowl before I started making plans for my next step.  It involves me spending time in Austin, housesitting for some very dear dear friends.  I love Austin, and was seriously considering moving there a few years ago but chose LA instead.  So, it's a nice interlude where I get to pretend I live in Austin for a few months.  But, I haven't quite sorted out in my brain when to go.

Come Monday, I picked up my older sister and right away she was asking "When are you going to Texas? Have you looked for a job?  How long will you be in Ohio?  Are you going back to LA?"  I know she means well but I tend to answer her vaguely because she's a fixer.  She wants to fix my problems.  I'm constantly giving both of us the benefit of the doubt (Because I'm such an evolved human being!) and either teasing her or telling her to back off.  And then usually, it's revealed to me later that she was stressed about something else and that's why she was coming after me.

After I dropped her off, my dad called.  He had called earlier in the weekend, and was in an asshole mood, meaning within 5 minutes, he had teased me about making my other sister cook for me (I hadn't...we were trying one of my mom's "recipes", I had also made soup and such), and hit two other sensitive areas all after I had told him it would have been nice to hear from him while I was in LA for two weeks, upending my life.  So, it was a short conversation.

The next conversation with old Bruce came right after I dropped off my sister, my mom's car had gotten stuck in the drive in the snow, and I had just freed it up. It was 10 degrees, I was annoyed, I was cold and I was tired of feeling like I was being grilled about my life.  So, then old Brucey calls and asks "Did you get my reservation?" (He's flying home next week to get the second dose of the Covid vaccination.  For my future biographer, we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, and oldies like Bruce get the first round of vaccinations because they are the most vulnerable.  We all pretend like that makes sense because we live in the US, and other countries are getting very limited quantities of the vaccination while we seem to get a lot but anyway, it's good news for my dad and our family, not sure what it means for the rest of the world but it's probably NOT GOOD).

And then he launches into "When are you going to Texas?"  I laughed and said "You're the second one asking me that today" and he knew right away I meant my older sister.

In my mind, I change the question to "How are you doing?  Was the move hard?  Are you feeling good about your decision?" vs "TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE YOU MUST HAVE PLANS OR YOU ARE A LOSER!!!"

Anyway, I'm very vulnerable and you know, could use some tea and sympathy.  

Also, have we all watched the new PBS "All Creatures Great and Small"???? I love it and so do all the white people who star in it...but it's awesome.

How to Pack in LA/How not to Pack in LA

 I recruited and paid two beefy nephews to come to LA and help me pack up my pod.  As soon as they stepped off the airplane at LAX, they said "I'm moving to LA bro" and began to look for apartments in the airport.  Not a bad idea:  good location, nice food options, great views, lots of hustle and bustle and very walkable.

Anyway, here's my experience of moving:

How to and how not to:

Rent a pod. This was so easy--rented from Uhaul.  They would deliver it and park it outside.  GREAT! All I needed to do was save a spot on the street. Until they called and said they couldn't deliver when i needed.  No problem--I'm a confident driver and i set up to rent a truck with a hitch with a pod on it.  I grabbed Simon and we walked to the Uhaul, via Hillhurst to Hollywood, passing Sunset ("Man, Sunset keeps coming up wherever we go").  Simon is a super observant kid.  He takes in everything. (Aunt Brag!)

Pod is $80/month for storage?

Truck is I don't know because that wasn't the plan and god I hope I have enough credit to pay for it?

Pre-order boxxes at Uhaul: Don't bother with saving boxxes of random dimensions and sizes: they will never stack well.  Just get your boxxes from the U, and they'll buy back any extras (which I need because I have no cash and I'm 48 (I think) and living with my dad with no job, no husband, a dead dog and it's a pandemic and i'm actually kind of happy with the situation it's just on paper that it sounds bad?)

We loaded the truck, and took off.  I didn't know how to back up a hitch once we got back to my street but Simon did from observing Tad's trailer skills with the jet ski. He guided me into the spot, we took off the hitch and threw the truck in another spot down the street.  

Don't delay packing because it's overwhelming, especially if you have two brawny young nephews you are paying to do the hauling.  Um, shit.  It's Monday and I have you both for 3 days.  FUCK.  OK, let's start with the clothes????  Fuck it, let's go have some fun and drive to Beverly Hills and Santa Monica and Venice Beach (Noah: "I see what you mean Aunt Becky, once you've been here, you see it, and you never need to come back.  It's not for me" (Which in polite Noah speak means "That place sucked").

God, what else did we do?  

Long Beach (drove past the Queen Mary and all the shipping containers, tried to find Smurf's house (from their favorite TV show Animal Kingdom), dropped them at the outlet while I bought tools to disassemble my bed frame (we had called my brother Paul, and he recommended a few tools because the screws were stripped and he said "Those boys will know what to do. They are good little workers").  At the outlet, Noah had high expectations but the reality was a bit different:  he didn't find much and they seemed disapoointed.  I think he likes to shop, but wants to save $ for Ohio State so he's looking for bargains and they are not turning up.)

Pasadena and Highland Park (I sprinkled some Pickle ashes at my old little apartment.  GOD I wish I could rent that place again!) and The Rose Bowl (I believe I already wrote about this but the boys found it a bit old and understated and jumped up and down on the University of Michigan marker, as good Ohio boys are supposed to do they HATE Michigan!)

Hollywood, BelAir, Downtown LA, Universal Studio shopping mall thing "City Walk"?, UCLA, SoFi, The Forum,

Don't plan to cook at home, do go grab fast food but call it "A burger tour" to make it fun. Don't forget that young men eat 3-4 meals a day, and a lot of it.  One day early on, they said "We need more food. Can we order a pizza?"

Do drive past houses of YouTubers and see how excited they get.

Don't delay in selling furniture.

Don't get impatient when they ask "What's left Aunt Becky" when you're not sure!!!!

Do love that they still call you Aunt Becky.

Do enjoy the eggs they make, do make coffee for them in the morning, do enjoy sending them to buy eggs and conditioner (I need it for my hair), do enjoy as they pose and take cool LA pics, do enjoy having family help you move after years of being able to afford hiring movers and when you are at the most desperate financial place you've ever been and the A squad of family comes in, and do enjoy when your landlady flirts with the boys and calls them "Real Men" and talks about their eyes and how polite they are.

Don't delay selling furnitute.  Every last piece I listed on Facebook got a bit today, after I'm sitting in Elyria.  I should have been selling sooner.  Oh well!

Don't forget to forget that you had a life here, you cared for a dog, you wrote a lot, you mourned your mother, you found a job and kicked butt at it, you hosted countless friends and family, you read a lot, watched more tv than thinkable, you passed treats up and down a bucket on a pulley, you made a ton of friends, you worked on getting over FOMO and you made it through the hardest year of your life, mostly intact and still believing in life and love and put yourself out there, even when all you wanted to do was cry.

It was a good life and is a good life.

Do ask them their favorite parts so far and enjoy them sharing