Goddamn those encouraging young people

 One of my friends is a "young person" in that they are in college, and a creative writing major and a major and gentle encourager of my tip tapping and writing. So, I'm revisiting this blog. For those of you who are new: the whole point of this blog is to not edit.  To not curate, to not overthing and to just write the first draft and put it out there in the world. SO, with that in mind, here i go.

The dunkin' on addison by the highway on the northside of chicago is a vibe. I usually go there in non-vibe times:  say, 130 pm, as I'm rolling into work (relax, we have flexibile hours there) and I'm picking up my mobile order.  But yesterday, saturday morning, the drive thru line was bumping, and i needed to get to the green city market to see all the young yuppies with babies and golden retrievers buying overpriced peppers...so i skipped the drive thru and went to the walk in.  And man, it was packed.  To my most bitter disapointment, they did not have maple cream, the most superior of donuts, but I got a maple glaze.  A very cute gentleman opened the first door for me, and then I opened the next for him.  He maybe gave me a little look? I've lost a shit ton of weight, I was wearing my cowprint cutoffs and I did look pretty cute, so, look noted and deserved.  Anyway, if you are out there fella:  let's meet at that dunkie!

Anyway, i got the maple frosted and my usual dunkie (large, ice coffee, extra skim milk, 3 stevias so I don't get cancer) and while waiting, I saw so many neighborhood protoypes:  a pregnant lady her 2 young boys and dad (is she expecting a girl and totally pumped?), some old dudes clapping each other on the back and laughing (god forbid men hug), and one solo man, on his phone, sitting in the corner, sipping his coffee and he had a very impressive moustache.  the ice cream looked delish (WHY IS BASKIN ROBBINS NOT ON THE DUNKIE APP? YOU ARE LEAVING MONEY ON THE TABLE BASKIN!  TELL ROBBINS AND GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER) and the crew was moving, turning, moving around each other like a free skate on saturday night at the roller rink: good music, good speed, good clearance and impressive on the fly maneuvarbility.

I was, and am, delighted.  In fact, I'll be going there again shortly.

After, I went to the "rock beach" or maybe "stone beach" as the young person wants us to call it and that same young person god damn encouraged me to 'send me your writing'.  WHAT THE FUCK!

I then went home, and pulled every week I could, listened to the amazing Lena Dunham book, "Famesick" that i don't want to be over and then met dori and crew at montrose saloon. AND IN WALKS GODDAMN ROD BLAGOIVICH and PATTY!  We chatted with them, I gave patty my number to go play tennis and we shall see! 

I do love chicago, I loved that god damn green city market and bought some cukes and then even got to target to get my hipster glasses and coffee.

And here you go M, check out my writing;  It's currently stream of conscious meets me trying to be clever and true and somewhat snarky.  We will see if I keep it up but god damn, you inspired me.

TikTokTok

 hi to my many fans!  It's been a while: so quick update on life. I got a job! (In advertising, then in advertising sales, and also in media planning for retirement communities) and then I got the dream job!  I am working at TikTok in learning and enablement. I get to get yelled at by colleagues who don't like feedback on training programs and then cry and leave our meeting!  I get to onboard people who are new hires!  I get to train sales people! I get to have 1:1 coaching calls where people cry and tell me the job is too much and then I go to my next meeting where everyone pretends like it's amazing!  

But mostly, I get to use improv skills to create a friendly, safe and honest environment where people can come to me and hopefully, learn and improve.

That is a dream job.

And I'm mostly grateful, pissed that I'm underpaid (why post jobs that are like mine, but the salary range is so much higher and not equal our pay?) but work with wonderful people and love love love every thing that I do.

That's a first: and I hope there's more of that to come.

Twisting and half nelsons and wrestling down the man

I FINALLY GOT MY UNEMPLOYMENT!!!!  it was very tedious, and involved me calling multiple times a day, writing emails into the void of the inbox of some part of the state of California AND engaging with my (former?) state senator.  I couldn't think of anything else, couldn't do my side hustle, couldn't engage in my helpful, useful leadership course ("What will you do to help a family effected by a death from Covid 19 for your capstone project??) and couldn't apply for a job.  Well, could, but didn't want to.

I was active on the reddit thread (sub-Reddit?) about managing your unemployment seeking angst, tricks of the trade and kept thinking Venus William's husband was going to yell at me for not knowing all the reddit rudolph game rules...

So, every morning, sitting in the loveliest most beautiful sunlit home here in Austin Texas I'd wake up, and wrestle with California, trying to make it submit to my needs.

And then, last wednesday, a few things happened all together:

1) My claim changed from "Pending" to "Disqualified"

2) The phone number didn't even put me through the 3 minute prompt session to get to the end and be told it's too busy...it just didn't work

3) I kept feeling like my brain was being zapped whenever I walked somewhere.  I am pro-happy pill drug, so this was making me concerned about dosage, etc.  '

4) The bank where the unemployment money goes showed all the missing deposits ($5K!) but also showed withdrawls, and no clickable way to track where it had gone.  Nothing in my main bank account, and I thought...I AM FUCKED.

I was zigging from task to task, getting zapped and in a terrible mood.  I called it "The Dark Night of my Soul" which made my sister Kitty laugh out loud.

ANYWAY, turns out the money landed into my Chase account (Don't rob me!) and all is now resolved.

And all weekend, all I could do was watch "Below Deck, Med", try to start and fail at bonfires and look at my Chase account online.  Like, petting the screen at how pretty it was to have that $ and daydreaming about which high interest credit card I'd put that money towards.  I did job search and such, but sort of half ass.  I was the most at peace I've been in the 8 weeks since I was laid off.  Life seems livable as I suck on the teat of the government cash cow.

And guess what, come Monday, I got a random call for a contract that's exactly what I want:

Temp to hire

Tech company with a good help old people "mission"

Create and host webinars

Run Events

Um, yes please???

And, even if that one doesn't work...I can finally start (or have chosen to start) to look for work.

PIN PIN PIN!

I'm a hero (again!)

 I was out on a walk, after a shitty day of calling unemployment all day and really feeling blue.  As I walked, I found an engagement ring on the ground--looked around--and there's a diamond store (or rather, an ethically something something store). I rang the bell and noone answered.  (the placard read  "one couple at a time" rub it in much?  i'm single and looking for love).  Anyway, their number to text was on the window, so even though I'm BROKE and haven't yet received $ from my unemployment from being LAID OFF and could use the cash from turning in the ring at a pawn shop, I texted.  And am turning in the ring.

UGHHHHH!

I'M IN TEXAS!

I'm in Ft Worth, living it up with my bestie friendie and her hubbie and two boys.  I'm in the guest room, and currently on a career workshop Google Video call.  I was on the unemployment phone line with California everyday, and kept getting hung up on until YESTERDAY when I realized I needed to keep calling...so after being on hold for a collective 4 hours:  I got through!  Turns out, I'm a qualified hardship case and it should be resolved in 3 days (WHAT?  I've been unemployed for 2 months and have received only one unemployment check).  So, I achieved my immediate goal.

AND NOW it's time to keep looking for job.  Or write. Or develop skills.  Or work on my resume.  Or do yoga.  Or start a podcast. Or get headshots. 

But it's sunny and warm and I'm injected into the life of a family and somewhere new and I'm happy.

PHEW

I needed that!  A little trip up to Michigan to see my BFF and her kids, inspired me to dye my hair.  Kristin does NOT like it when your hair is grey!  So chop chop I dyed my roots and cut my bangs.

We went to Ulta and I bought some good foundation (they call it CC cream these days) and I actually dressed up cute (well, for one day).  We drank wine, ate cheese and tried to watch Firefly Lane (CHEESY as FUCK).

Coming back this week, I kicked it up and applied for some jobs, got to work on earning my real estate license with classes and maybe I'll even go to the gym.  All in the midst of a snowstorm.  Impressive, no?

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TEXAS????

I was so happy to be back home.  I perfectly articulated how I feel about leaving LA "I know it's the right decision, but I'm not happy about leaving LA.  I don't think I'm done yet."

I took the weekend to unpack and settle in, join the local gym, get my change of address, have some zoom calls, and watch the Super Bowl before I started making plans for my next step.  It involves me spending time in Austin, housesitting for some very dear dear friends.  I love Austin, and was seriously considering moving there a few years ago but chose LA instead.  So, it's a nice interlude where I get to pretend I live in Austin for a few months.  But, I haven't quite sorted out in my brain when to go.

Come Monday, I picked up my older sister and right away she was asking "When are you going to Texas? Have you looked for a job?  How long will you be in Ohio?  Are you going back to LA?"  I know she means well but I tend to answer her vaguely because she's a fixer.  She wants to fix my problems.  I'm constantly giving both of us the benefit of the doubt (Because I'm such an evolved human being!) and either teasing her or telling her to back off.  And then usually, it's revealed to me later that she was stressed about something else and that's why she was coming after me.

After I dropped her off, my dad called.  He had called earlier in the weekend, and was in an asshole mood, meaning within 5 minutes, he had teased me about making my other sister cook for me (I hadn't...we were trying one of my mom's "recipes", I had also made soup and such), and hit two other sensitive areas all after I had told him it would have been nice to hear from him while I was in LA for two weeks, upending my life.  So, it was a short conversation.

The next conversation with old Bruce came right after I dropped off my sister, my mom's car had gotten stuck in the drive in the snow, and I had just freed it up. It was 10 degrees, I was annoyed, I was cold and I was tired of feeling like I was being grilled about my life.  So, then old Brucey calls and asks "Did you get my reservation?" (He's flying home next week to get the second dose of the Covid vaccination.  For my future biographer, we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, and oldies like Bruce get the first round of vaccinations because they are the most vulnerable.  We all pretend like that makes sense because we live in the US, and other countries are getting very limited quantities of the vaccination while we seem to get a lot but anyway, it's good news for my dad and our family, not sure what it means for the rest of the world but it's probably NOT GOOD).

And then he launches into "When are you going to Texas?"  I laughed and said "You're the second one asking me that today" and he knew right away I meant my older sister.

In my mind, I change the question to "How are you doing?  Was the move hard?  Are you feeling good about your decision?" vs "TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE YOU MUST HAVE PLANS OR YOU ARE A LOSER!!!"

Anyway, I'm very vulnerable and you know, could use some tea and sympathy.  

Also, have we all watched the new PBS "All Creatures Great and Small"???? I love it and so do all the white people who star in it...but it's awesome.