Everyone, please pay attention.
In the wake of our nation's recent tragedies (oh, and the world's, let's not forget our colleagues in Europe and I think there's always something bad going on in Syria and oh, yes, Pakistan), I, determined to change the outcome of lives and suffering, collected 2 bags of canned goods from my cupboards and my neighbors chipped in as well.
I then, bravely, googled "where can I drop off canned goods to help Puerto Rico" and found a place in Humboldt Park.
https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20170928/humboldt-park/donate-puerto-rico-hurricane-victims-logan-square-humboldt-park-avondale
Perfect, I can go there after my boxing class, and on the way to trying to sell my used books at the hipster bookstore in Pilsen. And I love Humboldt Park! I have gone to Riot Fest there! (I think?)
I bravely woke up early, at 720 am, walked Pickle, and drove to the club and boxed my little heart out.
I then, using my Iphone 6 navigator and my own innate sense of the Chicago street grid system, drove my prius, filled with bags and bags of books and 2 bags of donated goods (one from Whole Foods, the other from delivery service Instacart), and headed to Division and California. They were no longer accepting donations at that locale, and sent me to a church that could accept goods.
Shit, here I thought I'd drop off some cans and yelp a fun place to eat. Oh well, off I go to find this other place.
I got there, and the place was huge--an under-construction church, with piles and piles of donated goods and only 3 people working there. How nice, I thought. They said "we need help---tell everyone" and as I walked back towards my Pruis (oh yes, I drive a prius, thank you for asking! It is good for the earth. I think. Ha, oh yes, it would probably be better to not drive? But, we all do what we can)
But then, another lady came and donated, and decided to volunteer on the spot. She had also been to the gym that morning or was on her way to the gym or just wears gym clothes, and I thought "I will not be shown up by this Trixie" and said "I can help!"
Inside, my job was to sort out adult diapers and maxi pads, baby formula, and toiletries. For the people.
I also had to draw a line through the UPC codes so these items weren't selleable on the inevitable black market (the church's rule/thoughts---not my own).
After heroically packing for 2 hours, I needed to run to sell my books for money, and maybe grab a bite in Pilsen as Humboldt Park dining hadn't panned out.
Next, time to sell my books. A process I actually hate, same as selling cds or telling someone at a bike shop you don't want a fixed gear bike and you do want a water bottle installed. They GLARE at you and judge you. I held my breath as the piles were made--and he looked at each tome, flipping through the pages of "Crime and Punishment" (like I'm ever going to read that shit) and not even examining a Maeve Binchy (beloved and rejected) and saying "we could always use another of these for "Cold Mountain" (bought, never read) and considering "Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity" and buying it!
For the no pile he said "There's some good content there, but just not the condition we take", and I humbly nodded, acknowledging my good taste in literature (though not admitting I haven't read half of these books, and would likely never read the short stories of Anton Chekhov (too many russian nicknames to sort out ) ).
He added up my good taste and handed me $65 in Cash! Great, I'll just switch myself to an all-cash spending plan and only spend what I have, only cook at home, and grow all my own food, like a pioneer.
I bravely resisted buying a Thurber and EB White co-authored book, early edition:
https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/08/23/is-sex-necessary-e-b-white-james-thurber/
Instead, I asked the hipster who bought my books a good neighborhood place to eat and he said somewhere over on Blue Island. BS I thought---I'm going right here in Pilsen on 18th street.
I chose "Pollo Express" down the street based on the amazing Yelp reviews and when I went in, it was populated with Chicago cops and People's Gas dudes in hardhats, so I knew it would be tasty if the people were eating there. And it was so good! Thank god I opted for the Charro beans in my chicken bowl--they were salty, cooked in a bacon-y infused sauces and delish. (I know gentle reader, Yelp isn't always reliable, and Pollo Express means "Chicken Express", FYI. I got a C average in College Spanish).
https://www.yelp.com/biz/pollo-express-chicago-2
I bravely drove the wrong way and got stuck behind a bridge on the river, raised to let boats go by, and took a wrong turn and ended up in Chinatown.
There, an older gal, using a walker, crossed while the light was green. I bravely saved her life by allowing her safe passage and not hitting her.
I finally headed up lake shore drive, to the northern reaches of Chicago and happily helped a friend sort out her closet.
With my heart warm with generosity, I bravely drove down to Howard Brown to meet with my insurance navigator to adjust my health insurance because I am making very little money, and then went to Aldi and splurged on $17 rain boots and a pineapple, but opted to try the Aldi off-brand diet coke. Stay tuned on that one!
Pickle and I enjoyed fighting over the refrigerator as I packed it full of goodies (cottage cheese! Milk for pudding! Hazelnut Creamer) Aldi IPA!) and sat down to watch Survivor and then Game of Thrones.
It's hard to hear these words of praise, when it's really others who are brave and more selfless than me. You all are too kind. Blessings.
Now, off to bravely go to bed and sleep in tomorrow!
