I'm such a do-gooder. Please heap me with praise

Wednesday, October 5
Everyone, please pay attention.

In the wake of our nation's recent tragedies (oh, and the world's, let's not forget our colleagues in Europe and I think there's always something bad going on in Syria and oh, yes, Pakistan), I, determined to change the outcome of lives and suffering, collected 2 bags of canned goods from my cupboards and my neighbors chipped in as well.

I then, bravely, googled "where can I drop off canned goods to help Puerto Rico" and found a place in Humboldt Park.

https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20170928/humboldt-park/donate-puerto-rico-hurricane-victims-logan-square-humboldt-park-avondale

Perfect, I can go there after my boxing class, and on the way to trying to sell my used books at the hipster bookstore in Pilsen.  And I love Humboldt Park!  I have gone to Riot Fest there!  (I think?)

I bravely woke up early,  at 720 am, walked Pickle, and drove to the club and boxed my little heart out.

I then, using my Iphone 6 navigator and my own innate sense of the Chicago street grid system, drove my prius, filled with bags and bags of books and 2  bags of donated goods (one from Whole Foods, the other from delivery service Instacart), and headed to Division and California.  They were no longer accepting donations at that locale, and sent me to a church that could accept goods.

Shit, here I thought I'd drop off some cans and yelp a fun place to eat.  Oh well, off I go to find this other place.

I got there, and the place was huge--an under-construction church, with piles and piles of donated goods and only 3 people working there.  How nice, I thought.  They said "we need help---tell everyone" and as I walked back towards my Pruis (oh yes, I drive a prius, thank you for asking!  It is good for the earth.  I think.  Ha, oh yes, it would probably be better to not drive? But, we all do what we can)

But then, another lady came and donated, and decided to volunteer on the spot.  She had also been to the gym that morning or was on her way to the gym or just wears gym clothes, and I thought "I will not be shown up by this Trixie" and said "I can help!"

Inside, my job was to sort out adult diapers and maxi pads, baby formula, and toiletries.  For the people.

I also had to draw a line through the UPC codes so these items weren't selleable on the inevitable black market (the church's rule/thoughts---not my own).

After heroically packing for 2 hours, I needed to run to sell my books for money, and maybe grab a bite in Pilsen as Humboldt Park dining hadn't panned out.

Next, time to sell my books.  A process I actually hate, same as selling cds or telling someone at a bike shop you don't want a fixed gear bike and you do want a water bottle installed.  They GLARE at you and judge you.  I held my breath as the piles were made--and he looked at each tome, flipping through the pages of "Crime and Punishment" (like I'm ever going to read that shit) and not even examining a Maeve Binchy (beloved and rejected) and saying "we could always use another of these for "Cold Mountain" (bought, never read) and considering "Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity" and buying it!

For the no pile he said "There's some good content there, but just not the condition we take", and I humbly nodded, acknowledging my good taste in literature (though not admitting I haven't read half of these books, and would likely never read the short stories of Anton Chekhov (too many russian nicknames to sort out ) ).

He added up my good taste and handed me $65 in Cash!  Great, I'll just switch myself to an all-cash spending plan and only spend what I have, only cook at home, and grow all my own food, like a pioneer.

I bravely resisted buying a Thurber and EB White co-authored book, early edition:

https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/08/23/is-sex-necessary-e-b-white-james-thurber/

Instead, I asked the hipster who bought my books a good neighborhood place to eat and he said somewhere over on Blue Island.  BS I thought---I'm going right here in Pilsen on 18th street.

I chose "Pollo Express" down the street based on the amazing Yelp reviews and when I went in, it was populated with Chicago cops and People's Gas dudes in hardhats, so I knew it would be tasty if the people were eating there.   And it was so good!  Thank god I opted for the Charro beans in my chicken bowl--they were salty, cooked in a bacon-y infused sauces and delish. (I know gentle reader, Yelp isn't always reliable, and Pollo Express means "Chicken Express", FYI.  I got a C average in College Spanish).

https://www.yelp.com/biz/pollo-express-chicago-2

I bravely drove the wrong way and got stuck behind a bridge on the river, raised to let boats go by, and took a wrong turn and ended up in Chinatown.

There, an older gal, using a walker, crossed while the light was green.  I bravely saved her life by allowing her safe passage and not hitting her.

I finally headed up lake shore drive, to the northern reaches of Chicago and happily helped a friend sort out her closet.

With my heart warm with generosity, I bravely drove down to Howard Brown to meet with my insurance navigator to adjust my health insurance because I am making very little money, and then went to Aldi and splurged on $17 rain boots and a pineapple, but opted to try the Aldi off-brand diet coke.  Stay tuned on that one!

Pickle and I enjoyed fighting over the refrigerator as I packed it full of goodies (cottage cheese! Milk for pudding! Hazelnut Creamer)  Aldi IPA!) and sat down to watch Survivor and then Game of Thrones.

It's hard to hear these words of praise, when it's really others who are brave and more selfless than me. You all are too kind.  Blessings.

Now, off to bravely go to bed and sleep in tomorrow!

Paperwork!

Thursday, October 5
I had one thing going on today--a lunch with some former colleagues.  But, they had to change the date so I was thrilled as that meant I can nurse my "Lady's burden" and watch more Game of Thrones.

But, good old guilt kicked in so I am instead, going through paperwork.

On the list include:

• sorting out my awards points
• sorting out bills and seeing where I can make some cuts (bye bye HULU! I never knew u)
• Doing a bit of tax prep (The tax man cometh)
• Assessing furniture and what I can sell for $ (you know you all want one of my 3 white chairs!)
• Writing!  Ha!  Maybe do that first???  Nah

I'd like to hit the gym and get a few game of thrones episodes in, but that may be CRAZY!

By the way, years ago I signed up for "Points Loyalty Wallet"--which rolls up all your points in one place.  But, it doesn't have an app??? Why???? So, I clearly need to spend a bit of time researching the pros and cons of rolling up points, and also consider an app that rolls in loyalty cards for CVS so I can get my drugzzz and points, and can they roll in loyalty cards for independent coffee shops (where I like to pretend I go--but really, I'm broke so making my Aldi coffee at home)?

Speaking of coffee at home, my CUISINART (read, EXPENSIVE!) beloved coffee maker keeps flushing out water every time I brew below 4 cups.  Which is OFTEN as I have to monitor the intake of my caffeine levels because I am SENSITIVE!!!!  So, I'll add that to the list of to-do.

The other thing I need to do is look for work.

ha ha ha ha ha!!  Like that's going to happen.

I've got a credit card and I'm not afraid to use it!  I'm getting the hazelnut creamer and the cottage cheese!  (All Aldi, naturally).

Anyway, back to my to dos and some more random zig zagging between tasks and moments of hyper energy and moments of napping and intention to workout.  

(Also, there was some news from home that may be making me spiral a bit.  Finger crossed.)

Cooking my way through the cupboards

In my efforts to save $/make $, I've been biking a ton, working when I can get work, watching tv instead of going out and am now doing one of my favorite activities---cooking my way through the cupboards!

See the game I'm playing is "Don't go to the grocery store until I have eaten all the random food first".

But it takes a certain amount of creativity and work.  Which I am avoiding by blogging, obviously.

I spent part of the morning pulling down all the random items in my high up cupboard.  Apparently, I've been really really really into:
Herbal Tea (7 boxes)
Honey (4 jars)
Steel Cut oatmeal (3 forms)
Jello (6 boxes)

I've also got a bunch of cashews, turkey bacon, frozen brussel sprouts, fresh mushrooms, and tomato.

So, I broiled the bacon and am going to throw that in with the brussel sprouts in the oven.

I'm going to make some quinoa to have on hand and throw in to salads, or heat up with cheese and other frozen veggies.

Oh! I should make that with broth!  That makes it taste YUMMMY!

I've gotta look at these random root vegetables I bought at the farmer's market and see if I can cook those greens or do something in a smoothie with them.

(For the Pickle fans out there: Pickle has gotten so adept at climbing the 3 little pet stairs that lead to the couch (her back is screwed up), that she used my kitchen stepstool to climb on top of the oven last night.  That's impressive to me!  The other week, she got in to the garbage can.  Which is behind a folding door, two coolers and is 4 time taller than her body.  But, she wanted to get that leftover salmon!  I couldn't be mad because a year ago she couldn't lift her head because her back was so screwed up.  And I really enjoy watching her solve these problems she faces when I only give her dry food.   Currently,  she's dying here as I cook that bacon.  I think the bacon must smell even better than the necrotic rats she likes to find in alleys and sidewalks and take off sprinting like she just stole a jewel from the tower of London: filled with glee, pride and  a "FUCK I'M GONNA GET CAUGHT" look on her face.)

And I THINK i'm gonna make stuffed mushrooms because I LOVE that shit!!!

And here are the random random items that I don't think I will ever actually eat:
A box of Crackling Oat Bran (we used to love that in college, and one time Kristin got busted sneaking a box out of the cafeteria at Miami under her sweatshirt. So I purchased it for sentimental reasons)
Spaetzle, half bag (I made some with beef stroganoff last winter, but now with WW, it's pretty much don't eat noodles or pasta---make everything with vegetables only.  So, there they sit.  But I can't throw them out nor feel it's fair to donate.)

OH HELL YES!  I know what I'm gonna do---broil the mushrooms, boil the spaetzle and then kick that all up in butter in a skillet and add some cream cheese.

And I'm gonna throw all the greens and root vegetable ends in a broth of my own making and it'll taste gross as shit but I'll pretend I love it!

Oh yes YUM!!!

(I need work. Please send leads.)

Feast or Famine

I'm not working this week I just...have a tiny bit of Mind Gym work.  I have a few meetings and coffee dates. I worked last week.  I worked the week before.  But, today, it feels like gloom and doom and despair.

When I add up my pennies and they are very limited.

I think I knew that, deep down in the gut of my soul.

And I really deliberately sat down and saw where my extra money is going.

Guess what?  It's not netflix, nor is it a starbucks habit.

The only real place I can cut is going out with friends and health insurance.  Or, sell my condo.

A BIT extreme at the moment---so instead, I'm laying out a tighter budget for myself.

And, hoping for more work!  I've been freelancing for 15 months now...and I mostly love it. In theory.  Except when it comes to paying bills and thinking about things like my financial current or my financial future.

I shop at Aldi, I cook at home a ton, I make meals and freeze ahead, I use points for air travel, I've stopped buying almost all the gifts I used to buy.

I know more $ will come--but man, it's stressing me out.

I made my writing partner Jamie come over for lunch and made soup and cottage cheese just so I could save five dollars!!

These are the freelance times when I get a bit crazy.  And my house is still a mess and I don't get a workout in and I delay the productive things I should be doing.

As my sister Beth usually says at this point--"You need to work".

So, I'm going to go now, and try to get one task I've been avoiding all week done.  Just start it.

OK, here I go...

Happy?

hi there!  Has anyone read the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin?  It's a really interesting book about a year spent pursuing the practical process of finding happiness.  I really recommend it--though I have to give some warning that it doesn't seem like her and her family have a financial struggle in any real way--and I can't recall if she addresses that?  But, I think they are very much of the Ivy League set--she clerked at the Supreme Court so she's very bright but maybe a little privileged?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/fashion/28rubin.html

Oh shoot---I just read a NY Times article about her---and yes, girlfriend doesn't have to worry about money.  Or, you know, paying rent.  Anywho, having said ALL of that (why is money and class so important to me?  I think it's because I have half a foot in the world of Elyria, Ohio, and half a foot in the Yuppie land that is the northside of Chicago and a finger in some upper-middle class wealth and a tiny slither in true actual poverty and I just worry that something here is askew.  I got so mad when I realized Ellie Kemper was a KEMPER as in the money people.  I'd be doing a solo show at UCB NY too if I didn't have to work for rent.  But, I also LOVE LOVE LOVE her characters and what she does?  It's strange, a lot of people in the improv world do have wealth and come from privilege and same with advertising.)

Here's some clues that someone doesn't have to worry about money:

• Their mom was a stay-at-home mom who ran a few Hallmark stores (for fun!)
• They spent their summers at the "club" or in Maine or New Buffalo
• They spent their weekends at the family lake house
• They attended a "country day" school (when I first heard that I was like WHAT IS THAT?)
• They didn't work a teen job in high school during the school year
• They had a car in high school instead of a bike
• They studied abroad/were in the greek system/didn't have to work in college
• They went to a private college instead of a state school and don't have student loans
• Their parents stay in a downtown hotel when they come to visit instead of crashing in your bed
• They can buy lunch out everyday and make fun of your packed lunch
• They are free to go to auditions and gigs and don't have to pretend like they are calling in sick to work to go to a day audition
• Their shoes aren't pleather from Payless
• They don't have 3 roommates
• They don't pay rent for the first year in the "big city"
• They wear pearl necklaces and diamond earrings. Like, real diamonds.
• They wait until they find out how much the check will be from their dad to book their wedding venue
• They don't have to save for a down payment
• They shop at garage sales "for fun"!
• They shop at Whole Foods
• They don't have to pay for their kids' private school and college
• They shop at Nordstrom
• They know their way around a wine menu
• They flew on a plane as a child
• They skied in Colorado or Banff growing up
• They had their own computer in college
• They take a lot of cabs that aren't expensable
• They belong to a gym
• They grew up in a "W" town in Chicago (Winnetka! Wilmette!) or Shaker in Cleveland or blah blah Hills in Cincinnati
• They don't know how to clean because they grew up with a cleaning lady
• They have a first name that is a last name of someone's grandmother's maiden name

I mean, that is super-awesome and I'm sure all of those people are REALLY grateful for the jumpstart they were given in life.

But sometimes it feels like, if you have the leg up on money, you also have the leg up on free time, so you can go to shows or take a dream job that pays for shit or take more classes and not have to get to bed early so you get to work on time in the am.

I don't know what I'm saying here except that I feel a little tired of hearing people, including myself, talk about diversity and inclusion in the workplace (comedy, corporate, whatevs) and never think about how your childhood experience/finances play in to it.  To me, it's harder to overcome the financial barriers than anything.

I could not have taken the internship I got if it hadn't been paid.  Thank god for that paid internship that led to my first job in advertising where I promptly went into deeper credit card debt to afford to live in Chicago.  Yes, all my own choices but man, if I couldn't make the $ work and I had a good college degree, what about someone from a background where there isn't a safety net?  I could always bail on Chicago and go back home and live with my parents if I needed to.

OK, enough woe is me, but man, there was NO way I could have taken any gig I got without having saved $ or known I had a day job when I came back home.

How do people do it?

People are funded.  That's the secret that I didn't know when I moved to the BIG CITY---and an old boyfriend told me---many people get money from their parents to live in Chicago, to buy a home, etc.

I was like WHAT???

This whole time while I was trying to make rent, and live on this tiny salary, these colleagues of mine who made fun of me for packing a lunch were getting their rent paid by mommy and daddy?  Wait, what?  This person who lives in an awesome place can do it because they have a trust fund?  OH!!!!

I don't resent that (no, that's not true, i do resent it) but it just helped me understand.  OH!  That's how you can swing it!

Before I knew all that, I figure I was really bad with my money.

And, it turned out, I just didn't have an extra flow of family money.  I wish I had known that then.  Or maybe it would have made me mad?

Anyway, people who are family rich don't talk about it but you can tell because they work for a charity or can wait tables and stuff instead of getting a job with HEALTH INSURANCE so you don't go bankrupt when an illness comes.  Or maybe, that's just my family motto!  That, and you can never have too much plaid or children.)

Sorry Gretch--love listening to you and your sister, but I worry about money constantly---and I have a pretty sweet life compared to others I know (mostly back in Ohio, not so much here in Chicago where it's a lot of white college-grads tromping around the northside, cheering for the cubs and buying condos in up and coming areas to flip them).  But, anyway, I shop at Aldi, garage sales and try to save money by cooking at home, biking, taking the el, and using points for vacations to places I can stay for free.

This post has become about money!  I remember a few years ago, I realized I was complaining about money all the time, so I made a new years resolution to stop bitching about money. That's when I also gave up on pursuing acting in any real way.

A lot of parents I know tell me about how creative their kids are and how much they want to pursue theatre (or, typically, be a YouTube star) and I tell them be sure that the kid pursues personal finances, a marketable day job (not waiting tables!) as equally as the creative pursuit.  Because, when you're trying to MAKE IT---what will stop you more than anything is running out of money in very expensive cities.  And, you can't compromise your health and safety---there's just not affordable and safe housing options out there in NY or LA for a starving artist.  It's just not there unless you live with 6 people.  So, figure out your finances and then you buy yourself some time to audition or write or perform.  Those parents don't like to hear that (I think they've seen too many movies like "The Devil Wears Prada" where that girl lives in a "starter apartment" and it's amazing. Take a gander at Kimmy Schmidt---they are not JOKING about where she lives and the conditions of their apartment. Or what Jacqueline White did to get to her financial level.)  But, anyway, that's my advice.  Pursue it, tell your kid a lot of your competition is FUNDED and don't have to worry about rent or such and get a good paying day job with flexibility.

That's how I found happiness?  (Still pursuing!)

Spec!!! Script!!!

Hello blog people!

I think I wrote about this on a prior blog, but I spent the month of February in LA. I wasn't working, so I was able to make writing and testing out LA a priority. I suspected I would really like it, and I did really like it.

I also took 2 writing classes out there, attended panel discussions on writing, was very nicely able to attend a pitch meeting (matt craig is a very generous soul) and also went to the hollywood retirement center (lovely Jen Clymer) twice!

Anywho, I had 3 goals:
1) See how it feels to live in LA vs just visit.  Drive a lot, walk a lot, etc
2) Take this writing class seriously, do the work each week and make it a priority
3) To meet up with someone every day.  Someone who I knew in Chicago or college, and try to find out how they carve up a life for themselves in Cali.  Not trying to get them to do anything for me---but truly, just seeing what it means to live and work in SoCal.  It was lovely---I got to re-connect with a ton of friends who have long since left Chicago for LA, and all of them were so nice, and often insisted on paying for the meal.

I realize I should have made this more about writing a pilot---but that was the prior blog.

Anyway, for anyone who was writing or aspiring to be a sitcom writer, the general advice was to write a pilot.  It used to be to write a spec script, but now it seems pilot was the general consensus.

So, I wrote both.  And I'm planning to move to LA in January, too.

A spec script means (speculative) is one you write for an existing show (I believe).  Meaning, if you were writing in the 90s, you'd probably write for Roseanne or Seinfeld. You'd take on the voice and tone and feeling of the show, and write your own situation.  It's typical that you'd write a spec script for a show you love and know well.  And, I think, back in the day, say you wanted to write for 30 Rock---you might write a spec script for Parks and Recreation, so you can give that to anyone on 30 Rock.  Why?  They can't read an unsolicited script for 30 rock---because if they do, then if those writers soak up any ideas from that spec script of 30 rock and they show up in an actual show, everyone involved would lose their shit and start slinging around accusations of stealing ideas, etc.  So, instead, an aspiring writer would write a spec script for another show, and send that off to the 30 Rock crew.

Though, as I write this, I'm sure there are other reasons for a spec, and those writers probably can't even read anything unsolicited, even if it's not for their show?  (Unsolicited means you send it in an envelope or over email, but you don't have any kind of representation or agent or that legal shit so that writer or pa probably won't even read it).  Anyway, my point is this:  if you want to write for sitcoms, you have to start writing sitcoms.

I do want to be a writer for sitcoms (I think!) so my goal in the first half of 2017 was to write 2 first drafts--a pilot and a spec.

When it came time to pick the show I wanted to write my spec for I--I had no trouble at all.  Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  I came up with a few story ideas, but quickly landed on one that I liked.  I wrote this script to exist in Season 2---and after I wrote it, Season 3 came out and some of the stuff I referenced was resolved a bit. So, I was happy about that---I understood the show well enough to head in the same direction as the writers.

Anyway, I have sitting, on my hard drive, a draft of a spec script for "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt".

I keep saying I'm not interested in writing sitcoms for rich people who say they are middle class (I'm looking at you Modern Family, though that show totally cracks me up).  I mean, I don't want to write Oliver Twist or anything, but I like it when people on tv are more like the people I know in my life.  They have ok houses, maybe not houses, maybe apartments.  They have normal jobs, live in normal neighborhoods where everyone isn't lilly-white or perfectly "ethnic" and maybe, god forbid, aren't 100% liberal but live in a world somewhere between "My name is Earl"'s trailer park and Modern Family's california upper middle class life.

So, anywho, that's what I know and grew up around so that's what I'm trying to write and why I love Kimmy Schmidt so much.

She lives in a closet!  In a basement apartment!  She has like, 4 outfits, and drives an uber for money. That's pretty amazing and real and I love love love it.

I know have a spec script for Kimmy and an original Pilot.  I have to pause around that, because I am proud of myself. I guess that's bragging, but I am.

Everyone I talked to in LA got work or were seeking work as a writer had all kind of different paths to a job in the writer's room working on a tv (or streaming) show.

Some got in with plays or short stories they had written. Others had worked with so and so star years ago, and now so and so needed someone to work in the writing room and wanted to work with their old colleague, who was funny, smart, and "got them".  Others were doing sitcom contests--where you submit your sitcom, and if you end up winning you get to meet an agent, or get a development exec to read your work.  Others take classes, and then make pals and then go from there.  Others get an agent or manager or both, and go from there.

For me, I decided I needed to be brave.  Everything I did in LA for the month of February was about being brave and pushing past my own fears of being a super-shitty coward and acting like I don't belong in a room with a bunch of more-talented writers than me.  Or, being brave about re-connecting with old friends who have gotten to work, and I didn't want to seem like I was kissing up to them because of their awesome success and be a user.  Even friends that I was pretty close with back in the pre-LA days! I am so afraid of seeming like I'm only talking to them because of their success, that I just stop talking to them!  That's so unkind, and so selfish and what kind of friend does that make me?

A coward.  So, in the sense of being brave, I'm back to these blogs, and saying, the thing I want to do is try to write on sitcoms.  That'll likely change and shift and move in a different direction (because I also really like my day job and not being in debt) but for now, I want to do this.  (Look at all those qualifiers I put around even making that statement!)

And, I also re-mounted a favorite old show, Montgomery and Cooke,  with my pal, Jamie Buell in May. We wrote a bunch of new material and that was super-fun, too. I also started a new temp job at Rodale, and did a shit ton of awesome Mind Gym gigs.  Went on a few awful first dates (Hope spring eternal) and thought about Aldi a lot.

If anyone wants to weigh in on specs, and writing packets and such, feel free!  Or, you know, being brave?

Oh poor blog, Pilots (not blind)

I've been away from you for a while, dear blog.  When I came back from LA, I put a lot of things in motion for myself. I started doing more Mind Gym gigs (I love love love this work!), I signed up for 2 writing classes (one is writing a Pilot script, which is essentially a script you write for the first episode of a tv show.  (or, nowadays, streaming or whatever show).  It's all-new concept, from your own brain, and becomes part of your writing packet, shows your voice, tone, the topics you care about.  Some really well-written pilots include Cheers, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, um, Mary Tyler Moore (though I myself haven't watched that one).  Anyway, we meet the characters, the world (setting, time period, types of relationships, etc) and watch an episode unfold.  There are two kinds of pilots--one that you watch, and as a viewer, you are dropped into an existing world, and get to see what happens this particular week.  Or, the other is an "origin" pilot--where you set up the world and see the big change that happens, and then you will watch the rest of the show forever in this world. I'm trying to think of examples that some actual writers have shared with me (I am currently very much an amateur in this game)---I think Cheers is a blend---the main character, Sam, is a bartender and works with all of his employees and knows is customers.  The other main character, Diane, ends up in the bar, and over the course of the pilot, her life plan changes dramatically, and she starts a new life.  So, maybe it's both?  Same with Friends---5 of the friends hang out at Central Perk, and then Rachel busts in, and she is the one who starts a new life.  So, is that an origin sitcom? Or, the other kind (I am too lazy to get up and get my notes from meetings in LA because that notebook is far away in the sunroom, and i'm in the kitchen making potato salad and listening to the dishwasher run and smelling that delicious aroma of hot liquid dishwasher detergent...mmmmm).

Anyway, I'll probably never have a career writing sitcoms if I don't improve my memory--but that is my big goal.  And, like any goal, we'll see what actually happens.  I get distracted writing my blog by a can of olives I need to open and drain and add to the pepper salad I made earlier, so how the heck can I discipline myself enough to write a sitcom?

But, somehow, since I've returned from LA, I've done just that. I wrote a first draft of a Pilot.  It's about a lady who works in the world of startups in Silicon Valley, and realizes it's a lot of smoke and mirrors, and super-sexist, and has a breakdown and goes back home to Cleveland to lick her wounds and decides that she can apply everything she loved in Cali to life in Cleveland and make everyone happy, richer, have jobs etc.  She's got a lot of blind optimism.  Anywho, it's essentially a fantasy-world of my life played out---a Silicon Valley meets Roseanne or Ed.

I have a first draft.  It's got to be re-done, but I'm taking a break and working on other things and will come back to it.

And, I also wrote another script (a spec script) which I'll write about in my next blog.

Thanks for all the support--and weigh in with your knowledge and opinions on how to get things done that you put off.  For me, it's take a class to hold myself accountable and say it out loud.  And take some eves off from socializing.

You?

Aldi, return home, my sisters

Apparently, I think too much about Aldi.

I bring it up all the time (along with Southwest Airlines and investing your financials in useful technology for the future instead of yelling at people for not being recycling purists).

This week, I posted a note about "What's your favorite Aldi purchase?" on FB, and my lovely sister Beth hopped on and commented pretty quickly "You need to get a job".  And here I was looking for an extended social media conversation, with some pros and cons and real exchange of ideas around the topic of Aldi!

She's right---I've been home in Chicago for a week and I didn't work at all in the month of February when I was on my LA visit.  Instead, I made it my work to connect with someone everyday and to write.  But no cash job.

I'm lucky I get to spend my time gallivanting around (as many people remind me and they are right) but I also find that a bit insulting, sort of like when people say "I'm so busy" or "You can't understand love until you have a child."  What if you don't have a child? Can you not understand love?  Well fuck, I'm screwed!

Anyway, I was lucky enough to work hard in my day job/career for 20 years and save money and switch to a freelance life and be able to drive out to LA for a month.

But during that time leading up to it, and my time there, and since I've returned, I've become even more bargain basic than I normally am.  Like, I ordered some $8 oil from Amazon, and then I returned it because it didn't perform well for my skin.  Not to sound like Obama bitching about the price of arugula, but that is major bargain activity for me.

So, Aldi, my very favorite grocery store in the world, keeps coming up in conversation.  And I keep expanding my consideration set when I shop there (salads? cheeses?  the holy grail of meat?)

That, and cooking everything I can at home, and asking friends if we can meet out for a walk instead of a drink or a meal.

But, the thing I love about my sisters (and my family) is they LOVE to keep it real and call me on my bs.  It's frustrating at times but I do appreciate that quality, especially when I go on a flight of fancy, like spending a month in LA to "test it out".

Keeping it real Beth, keeping it real.

FUTURE BECKY

there's a senior housing apartment building kitty corner from our building.  I often see the same lady, day after day, tall, dark curly hair, hunched over as she shuffles to and from on the opposite side of the block.

When I first saw her, I called her "Future Becky"---and felt, this is where my life is going to be if I don't find love, happiness, marriage, a fulfilling career, success and such.

She always seems to haunt me---clad in bright colors, wearing sensible but really cute shoes, mismatched hat from her coat and mittens--and always, always walking.

In many ways, she reflected the way I really live when I'm not cuting myself up to work in advertising, or go to a meeting or out with friends.

I feel like a fraud when it comes to fashion and putting on makeup and such. I don't blow dry my hair and I only wear makeup if I'm "going out".  I typically dress in workout pants, and put on my sports bra and shirt, and expect that I'll work out, sometime that day.  I often don't, but the promise is real.

(It's such a pain for us big-breasted ladies to put on a workout bra, take it off, put on a different bra---the whole bra thing is just a huge pain in the ass to me)

I'd often see Future Becky when I was out on a walk or run, trying to shake out the ghosts of relationships past, anxiety about the future, or during one bad stretch, open-mouth sobbing as I jogged---and there she showed up.

I used to think "Future Becky is FUCKING haunting me".

But, then something changed.  I got happier, or got some perspective or something shifted and I decided I know longer hated or feared this long, stretched-out bent over bean pole of a future me.

(No, dear readers, I didn't decide she deserved her own identity, I'm not that evolved)

But instead, I kind of started to really admire Future Becky.  She's out, no matter what the weather, running her errands on foot.

She's got an amazing sense of style---I don't mean that in a "Oh look at Edie Beale, let's make her a fashion icon"---what I mean is that girlfriend just wears shit that is laying around, and could give 2 fucks.  But her stuff laying around is super-fun, super bright, and she just throws it all on.

She's not smiley at all---she isn't walking down Winnemac to greet the world---Future Becky doesn't bother caring if anyone likes her---she's got shit to do!

And, most of all, she's alone.  Maybe the real lady is lonely, or maybe she loves her life---but in my mind, Future Becky, observes all the newest shops and hotspots in the neighborhood, takes it all in from her limited view, and goes home and writes about it.

I know have grown to LOVE Future Becky. I've often tried to speak to her, say hello, let Pickle wander a bit in her area as an icebreaker, but she will have NONE of it!

Maybe I'm a ghost, and Future Becky can't see Past Becky?  That would be kind of fun.

I love her, and I don't know the real her, but tonight, on a Thursday eve on a rainy March night, future Becky got dropped off by a pal (not an UBER! not a LYFT) at 745 pm and shuffled on home.  Good for you Future Becky!  I hope you saw a movie you loved, or had dinner with a pal, or had a date with Future Man-to-Appear and now get to go home and read a really good book while you pet your dog.

The Future's so bright...I gotta wear an 80's peach, down jacket out in the chilly eve.

The last Leg! It's the last leg!

Day 5

Did anyone see that Sting musical “The last ship”?  It did a tryout here in Chicago, and then went to NY.  So so boring--Sting rehashed the decline of the boat building industry in England--something that mattered to Sting, but I just didn’t care.  And I LOVE Sting!  The costumes and dancing were amazing, but enough with sad white dudes.  We GET it.  Anyway, there’s a song motif that keeps repeating “The last ship…the last ship”.  So boring. The lead’s name was GIDEON (not Gordon! It’s different, see?) and Sting shoved in a few songs from his Soulcages cd (“When we dance” was the most surprising---it seemed very out of place).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbMY9lf58FA

Anywho, this last leg of the journey seemed the LONGEST and MOST boring.  Across the desert, through Palm Springs (I do love the windmills, and PS is a favorite spot of mine) and finally, into the sprawl of LA county. 

I was thrilled to past through West Covina (Shoutout to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend!) and I saw an Aldi truck, so that was promising, too!

I landed at my sweet little cottage/cabin in Highland Park, a hipster neighborhood in LA! 

https://www.timeout.com/los-angeles/highland-park

I quickly dumped off pickle and the far too many bags I packed for a month away, and hightailed to a local mechanic to get my car underside shoved back up, and that mechanic, too, could not make the light malfunction in daytime.  It’s like a MYSTERY!  He helped me troubleshoot, and we figured out if you flick the light on and off, it eventually “sticks” and he also pooh-poohed the light bulb I had picked up in Texas (“You want the German one.  This one is no good”) I would have been insulted/skeptical, but since he shoved my car underbody up for free (FREE!  But I tipped the mechanic in cash), I decided to file away his notes.

I rushed home, walked Pic, and headed to week 2 of class at the Writing Pad.  I was in LA to test out the waters of the town as a potential home down the road, and take this “Sitcom Pilot Class”.  I knew I wanted to write about a few things:  Family, Technology and work, real middle-class people (I feel like it’s all really upper-middle-class families on TV nowadays---Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, etc.  It’s part of why I love Crazy Ex-Girlfriend so much---people have real jobs and real struggles. And I used to love Cheers, Roseanne, etc).  Anyway, week 2 of class was great---we did something with our beat sheets maybe?  A beat sheet is essentially an outline of your sitcom idea—you write down your scene descriptions, sticking to the action of the scene, not really worrying about the jokes.  In a typical sitcom, there is a really clear structure and it’s key to learn this.  Just like when I teach sketch, a lot of students will want to “break the structure” which makes sense---they are tired of the same old, same old. But even the most innovative/funny sitcoms still follow this traditional structure.  So, it’s important to learn---and what will “break through” is more your own POV, the setting and characters and situations you put them in, versus fucking with the form/structure.

Anywho, when I have my sitcom pilot done, I may tell you all about it.  But I am shy of sharing it!

Scottsdale!!!

Day 4—Scottsdale

The drive from NM to AZ was really amazing, too!  I went through a section of US Forest land, and I felt like I had fallen in to a Rankin & Bass forest from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and was hoping the Snowman Narrator (as portrayed by Burl Ives) would guide me to the North Pole.  I mean, it was beautiful----and I couldn’t get enough of it.

Amazing Mountains, with snow and green green trees.  

I arrived in Scottsdale in a section of town that was comprised of endless apartment complexes, gated communities and new housing.  Not my cup of tea, but really lovely nonetheless.  I settled in with my sister Kitty’s BFF—Kim.  She’s a wonderful host, and also has a very tidy house.  (That really impresses me—as I a am a MESSY Marvin.  I saw so many immaculate homes that I started to get a complex about my dust, clutter and such.  But, as soon as I came home, my normal life exploded all over and I decided I didn’t care, mostly.  People are different!)

Anyway, Kim had some bone broth boiling and Pickle SCORED with some free bones!  We hung out at her apartment complex’s dog park.  Pickle never seems to be that excited about a dog park---even if I encourage her to run and play—she mostly stares at me, and makes a bee line for the fence and exit.  Just another way this dog is disappointing to me.  (It’s ok everyone—I can say that about her—she’s a dog, not a child.  She can’t read this blog).

Kim cooked and we visited and caught up.  Pretty nice there in Scottsdale. 

The next morning, I slept in (BIG SURPRISE to my regular readers) and couldn’t figure out how to operate her shower so hopped in the car DIRTY. 

(Oh! I should mention, lest you all think I am a cretin, I brought each of my hosts a host gift.  Shoutout to myself!!!)