At first I was mad

That these old men at the coffee shop in Scottsdale were sitting on the patio, with their cell phone speaker blaring on a conference call.

I complained to the cute barista "Why do people have conversations on their speakerphones?"  He shook his head in agreement, and then I speculated "I think it's the Kardashians.  I think everyone believes they are on a reality show".  

But then, I decided it was amazing and started eavesdropping on their conference call.  I am naming them Bert and Ernie.  They are old white men, in their late 60s/early 70s.  They are seated, side by side, laptops in front of them, on a fake rattan love seat.  When I first swept through, I eyed the spot---under the only tree, shaded, it's the prime spot.

So I ordered my order (Kale and Fruit smoothie, but then changed it to avocado and egg toast, duh, and iced coffee) and perched down right across from the old dudeds.

"We bought it for $3.35.  That's hard money.  Now, if I'm wrong, someone tell me."

"I don't care which way it goes, but you're treating us as individual shareholders."

Mumbling

"Ok, ok, here's the problem here, I don't mind furnishing financial information, but I'm not going to sit here and have blah blergh."

He sits back, and runs his hands through his hair and throws up his hand, exasperated while the voice on the other end blabs on.

"Ok guys, ok hold on. There are any number of standard reports, you've got the monthly, the quarterly, the annual and the business plan...those four things are essential."

"It's only an issue for me if they want specials"

I wonder if they know I'm eavesdropping.  Pickle is also giving them the stinkeye.

Meeting wrapping up--indistinguishable wrapping up sounds

Ernie yells "And the business plans!!!"

Now they are off the phone, and twirling the stems of their glasses in their mouths and hands, and discussing followup.

I am certain they know I am listening.

"Well, I thought that was a good call."

"What happened is

"I had him backing up so fast, I thought he was going to fall down.  We're paying for this, I don't want to lose my fucking pants on this."

"We need to be aggressive.  Fucking aggressive here"

And then they left and I grabbed their seat and it is FUCKING perfect.