Let's pause for a moment, and think about the fashion of the men of 90210.

In today's episode, we see Steve Sanders, arriving late to his mandatory detention.  As he walks into the auto shop area of detention, his facial expression indicates he's confused by the cornucopia of shop equipment (I see a rotor, half a car engine and a wall of tools).  Now, at this point in Season 3, Steve's already fessed up to breaking into the school and has been serving morning and afternoon detention for a few weeks, if not months, so why would he be confused?  

The music is HARD, STONER, Driving rock, so we are promptly dumped into a different part of West Beverly, one where people are even poorer then the heart o'gold Walshes, and wear flannels, white henley tees, white boys have long hair and black boys wear brown newsboy hats from the 70s.

This is the bad part of school and Steve, as the rich adopted kid of famous washed-up TV star, Samantha Sanders, clearly, doesn't fit in.  I mean, he may have done something a lot worse then these kids did, but come on, he is Steve Sanders, and despite a D+ grade point average, he hangs out with the cool kids---the Kelly Taylors, Dylan McKays, Walsh twins of the world--and why is he here?   

All of this we know from his expression and disgust with detention.

And apparently, he's skating on thin ice when he walks into the shop classroom, with the tough-talking detention proctor, who declares 

"Better late then never doesn't cut it in detention, young man. Be here on time or the bus will leave without you."  The tough detention teacher says.  Steve gets the message.

Steve is wearing a royal blue, long-sleeved, collared shirt, and has recently lobbed off the majority of his mullett tail.  Thankfully for all of us, he left about 25% of the volume back there, and the front hair still has the texture of pubic hair, and while puffy around the crown, careful detection reveals a receding hairline.*

Steve is handsome in the way that my grandma would say someone is handsome--he's clean cut, he has a nice frame, his ears are even and he has no zits.  Kelly Taylor may have fallen for his charms in a drunken stupor her freshmen year, but he doesn't do it for me.

A permanent resident of morning detention hall teases Steve about how rich he is, how silly his mother's career is (she was on Hartley House, a very popular tv show for years).  Steve's badass response?

"Why don't you clam up, bonehead?"

Surprisingly, the stoner is not put off by that threat and proceeds to play a Hartley House-inspired sit on-a-brownie prank on Steve that leads to a near fight in detention.  Oh Steve! You've got a hot temper and a now ruined pair of very nice, light gray, well-pleated, tight-on top, billowy on the bottom, grey rayon pants (I'm counting at least 10 pleats, and I've got a side angle of only the left side of the pant here), finished off with a black leather belt (shouldn't you do brown with blue and grey?).

Later, Steve goes out to his 'vette, and finds a carton of eggs on the cloth convertible cover. 

"That's weird", his highly-telegraphed subtext reads, but ok, whatever. He opens the car door--and the 'vette is filled with mostly brown chickens but a few white, and a superfulous amount of white feathers.   I know that someone is in the backseat dumping feathers when Steve opens the door.  It's funny, because there are a ton more brown chickens then white chickens, yet all the feathers are white.  Here's the thing, Steve's character is played for "laughs" but he's not very good at getting them, so they don't seem to know what to do with him, except have him be the butt of physical pranks.   For now,  Steve sweeps the chickens out of his precious 'vette (and we are rewarded with a nice shot of his boots--pointy-toed, soft leather, a good choice with the blousiness of the black rayon pants, a little bit of tailoring works well here) and then Steve cries out for the stoner, who laughs and then offers to get Steve some rags to clean up the car from his wheels.  Stoner opens trunk, and there's a tank of Nitrous Oxide.  "Nitrous Oxide?  That stuff rots your brains" say a wary/warning Steve, apparently now truly on the straight and narrow. 

"I don't breathe it..." says the stoner, who then has to scamper around from the trunk to the front of his car, open the hood of the car to show off him a souped up engine that runs on Nitrous Oxide and deliver the second part of his line

"...my engine does" 

Oh boy,  Steve is a lot jealous "My god, that's more then my  'vette."  

This is the third time Steve has uttered the word "'vette" and I am highly amused.

They become friends!  Stoner invites Steve to the Stoner car party!  Steve brings Brandon, and they pull up on "Industrial Drive", which they had a hard time finding, since they aren't used to bad, rebel-with-a-cause parts of town.  But we are used to the bad parts of LA, because we've all seen Grease! The car race scene, remember?  Any viewer is totally thinking about this, because Brandon's always got his sideburns and 1950 James Dean-style pompedaur going on, works at the Peach Pit and drives and old Mustang (or should I say 'stang).  Steve, though, thankfully, is a man fully embracing the age, and for this scene, has found a new pair of billowy tailored Rayon pants to wear to the rumble.  Also, because Steve's hair is the texture of blonde pubes, he can't wear a pompedaur (sp?), so he has to go with a mullett with gel.  Poor Steve.

Next, we see Brandon in the next 5 scenes, wearing a fancy plaid flannel shirt, arms rolled up and shirt tucked (naturally) into his black Levis.  Mrs. Walsh must have taken Brandon to a mall back in Minny to pick up those duds, because I can't imagine he found those at the Beverly Center.  Pretty standard 90s fare, but a delight to see.

Up next, Dylan wearing light blue jeans, a black tee, and, though it's hard to tell the exact fabric, it's a red jacket.  Remember, James Dean wore a red jacket in Rebel without a cause.  Get it? 

Because Dylan's a REBEL?  Misunderstood?  Ride a motorcycle?  Owns a vintage Porsche? REBEL with a capital R?  What's funny here to me is that Dylan's frame is so slight, but he's THE romantic lead, so they put him in baggy baggy jeans, a blousy tee and an oversized red jacket, so we think he's HOT.  Then, poor Steve, with his man's manly body (broad chest, big shoulders, tapering down to a tiny tiny ass) gets no play at all this season.  He must have been so pissed that he decided to cut off his mullett so people would notice his tiny tiny waist.

Anyway, Brandon's running off to his next scene, which, thankfully, they've moved from the hallways of West Bev out into the courtyard.  Nothing remarkable here except Steve has traded his grey blousy rayon trousers for a pair of white, blousy, well-tailored, highly-pleated sweatpants, because his grey pants were ruined by the stoner's prank.

And now, Brandon's fourth scene in a row, at home, overhearing Mr. Walsh's conversation with a client, while wearing a striped dress-shirt, elastic suspenders with a brown closth button attachment and gold flair, and a brown tie, with a light-brown plant pattern.  Nice done Mrs. Walsh.  You clearly shopped at the Beverly Center for Mr. Walsh, because he looks like a stowaway from Wall Street or Glengarry Glenn Ross.  We learn about the recession, which in this Season seems to be one of the THEMES---as Mr. Walsh puts it "The party's over."

Next, we go to the Walsh kitchen, which I will pause, only to comment on Mrs. Walsh's ensemble.  Faithful viewers of 90210 will recall how much Mrs. Walsh loves a good patterned shirt with matching bottoms, and today's no exception.  A patchwork-patterned collared, blousy shirt is served up today, with hues of butter yellow, rose (was there ever such a mistake of a color?) and periwinkle rectangles, with botanical highlights thrown in for interest. She's chosen to match this with a purple pair of dress pants, appropriately pleated, and perfect for dispensing advice to a love-sick Brenda and Kelly, who are in a holding pattern, while awaiting Dylan's decision.  Mrs. Walsh mentions that a friend of her tennis doubles partner has a son, who goes to Princeton.  And his friend ("also a princeton man") are "looking for a night out on the town".  Brenda lights up when she hears the word Princeton---she's a gold-digger from the wayback machine.  Kelly seems less impressed.  There's nothing this show likes more then throwing around the Ivy League (Yale only for Andrea) and now, Princeton.  

Anyway, today is focussed on mens' fashion, but this particular Mama Walsh ensemble is definitely worth noting.

Next up, David Silver, is in the DJ booth, wearing a long-sleeved black mock turtleneck, I think.  There is something around the neck--and it's either mock turtleneck or a mini-hood?  Anyway, the sleeves have a white flowers going down, and the chest has some punky/hip-hop design.

Donna, in her first day as fill-in dj, is wearing an over-sized zippered jacket,  black satin, emblazoned with a pattern of CDs, naturally.  Because she's going to be a DJ---and play CDs.  I'm thankful that the costume mistress clarified that for me. I wonder about that moment---did they find the jacket, and think "Perfect for the Donna character" and then run over and ask the writers to write in a scene that Donna could wear this jacket?  Or, did the writers write the scene and work with costume to find the pitch-perfect look?  It's a bold move either way, especially because the Donna character generally prefers outfits that are cropped, brightly colored striped and show off her impossibly tiny midriff.  Nice work, costume.   It's exactly what this scene needed---and it focusses us on Donna's growth and burgeoning interest in music on her own, not just as a groupy of David Silver.

Back to the boys.  Oh gross! I just ate a rank piece of cantaloupe....gross gross gross.  I need to get some coffee to get that flavor out of my mouth...gross...Oh, I can smell it now.  And I love cantaloupe!  I hope this isn't the same batch Andy tried to feed Daphne this morning.  No wonder she refused it....blech.

Ok, all better.

Poor Steve, even when it's an episode focussed on him, we are spending more time on the gals (love triangle with Kelly/Brenda/Dylan, Donna trying to be the DJ so David can study, Andrea's breakthoughs in hypnotherapy) and I haven't seen Steve in at least 5 minutes.

Oh..it's almost 11:30 and I need to get on the el to go meet Chris Day for lunch.  He's back in town so I'm going to meet him and then heading to the Art Institute, and maybe to do a little bit of xmas shopping.

OK, 5 more minutes and then I have to go.  Hurry up David.

Here's Steve!  He's leaving school and heading to his car.  There's something on his car--another prank by stoner!  Oh, I can't wait!  Hold on, this doesn't make sense.  If Steve's got after-school detention every day, how on earth did Stoner pull another prank on him if Stoner is also a permanent resident of detention?  And why is the student parking lot full, since they both have after-school detention?

Is that a brushed silk dusty red shirt with a black placard and black rayon pants?  Closer inspection reveals a collarless, Member-only style jacket, but done in a red silk, with a black collared shirt underneath.  Steve's so RICH!!! And stylish.

Anyway, prank ensues---and it's described above (Blogger won't let me re-arrange this post, so it may be confusing).

Oh shit, I really have to go.