RNC!

7/19/16

New locale:  Cleveland!

I decided to drive to my ancestral homeland to drive Uber and Lyft during the Republican National Convention.

I arrived on Friday, but didn’t really get around to driving until Sunday at noon.

I turned on Lyft and surprise, surprise---no one in Elyria needed a Lyft!  I swung through the arrivals gate at Hopkins (Hopkins is Cleveland airport for the non-Northeast Ohio natives) and no picks ups.  But, I saw a shit ton of security and as I approached “Downtown Cleveland” I saw a lot of Trump signs on the highway.  Overhead flew a biplane stating “Hillary for Prison 2016”. I wonder if they know you don’t vote for someone to be in prison?

I finally picked up a ride right by some bars on E 5^th.  The mysterious “Sara” waited patiently as I crawled through the traffic, slower then LeBron at the NBA Championship parade (shout out!), and she waved and saw me.  She wanted me to make a U-turn and I laughed and thought there’s no way to do that unless I decide to break the law and there’s no freaking way I’ll be doing that today.

But, unfortunately, between my hydrating water and iced coffee, my bladder felt like it was going to BURST!! A pick up is a pick up so I squeezed until my eyes were going to burs

She hopped in, we crawled down to public square and then traffic lightened up. I asked her “Air or windows” she didn’t care and then started pounding away on her smartphone.  I asked a few minutes later “Are you from Cleveland?” and she said “No, DC.”  That was the extent of our conversation. I wanted her to admire the lovely architecture of Cleveland but no go.

I dropped her off at a random Union hall with one single protester (dressed as a furry doughnut?) outside.  Disappointing.

So, I’ve opted to go to the “Daily Show” conventions sideshow instead.